What does boundary setting truly mean? Why is it so important for us to set boundaries? And how do we do so in a way that is for the highest good of all?
So many times in our lives, we are faced with people and situations which do not allow us to be our true authentic selves. Living in a family where self care practices are regarded as laziness and working yourself to the point of an emotional breakdown is considered to be a virtue, I understand how difficult it can be for us to show up as who we really are. We start to dim our light so that we can fit in with ease. Thats where boundary setting comes into play.
Setting boundaries has a very simple meaning. No matter what happens, we must never abandon our heart’s desires. It means that you do not let someone’s judgements or criticism have the power to dim your light. Its okay to feel heartbroken and upset when people say mean things to you. But you must set up very firm boundaries making sure that you do what you love even if hurts their emotions.
People are never disappointed in you. They are disappointed in their own expectations. You dont need to dim your light to fit in. If you are living with people who dont seem to understand you, its okay. You dont need to explain yourself.
My family members make fun of me when I meditate or practise certain self care rituals. They find these rituals meaningless. Thats how they see it. But I do not need to abandon my feelings and wishes. Neither do I need to try to change their perception. I make sure to meditate, listen to audiobooks, do my journalling work even if someone is not okay with it.
When people are disappointed in us, we become frightened and the fear of abandonment takes over us. Thats when we start believing that the desires of our hearts are meaningless. Thats not true at all. Our heart’s desires are placed there for a reason and abandoning them makes us feel low and unhappy.
If we feel afraid, its better to do things fearfully than to try to get rid of fear by dimming our light. With every heart desire we choose to honor, we replace fear with love and thats how miracles are born.