Namaste wonderful souls. Thank you all for loving, sharing and supporting my work. So today’s post is going to be dicated to that one special person in your life. That special one who gets the most of your time and attention, who is on your mind the maximum number of hours in a day, whose words occupy the majority of your thoughts and who is always close to you. I too have that special one in my life and I am sure all of us too are blessed with such a wonderful person. Yes, you guessed it right. We are talking about that one critical parent, that one nagging neighbour, that one annoying relative, that one selfish co-worker, that one mean boss and that one nosy cousin. Yes, we are all blessed with at least one such special person in our lives. Please do pardon me for my sarcasm, but when I say blessed, I really mean it.
You know we are blessed with that one special person who shows up each day with a new series of endless judgements, who criticises us the most, who is extremely harsh with his/her words and who can never see the good in us. Sometimes, this special person is a helpful friend or family member who inspite of being concerned about our goodwill always ends up putting us down by his/her words and/or actions.
We have often heard people say that constructive criticism is good for us. With all due respect for them, I disagree. No amount of criticism is good for us. When someone criticises us, they are secretly whispering,” You are not doing it right.” This is the most disempowering message our minds can ever register. My beloved light workers, I so want to tell you that you are all doing it right. Even when nothing seems all right, you are doing it right. Its easy to say that compassion can heal anger and judgement. But everything fails in front of these special ones. We can still deal with those who judge us once in a while but these special ones are there everyday trying to hurt us in every way. They may not be doing it intentionally but they are hurting us and we can do nothing to avoid them.
The concept of setting boundaries is pretty vaguely understood. You know that we all are beings of light and in reality, no true separation exists. The collective consciousness is influenced by every step we take and every thought we think. Its very easy to say,” Your words are hurting me. Its better that we never speak again.” But thats not our intention. Our intention as light workers is to encourage other beings to recognise the light within them. And we surely cannot do that by pushing them away.
When we are angry, we think of millions of ways to calm ourselves. Today, I have something different to tell you. If you are angry, stay angry. If you want to sit with a grumpy face, please do but never stop doing what you are here to do and that is, spreading your light. I can be angry at my dad and send a loving letter to my friend at the same time, I can have an argument with my mom and bake some cookies for my brother at the same time, I can be upset about what my boss said to me and help my parents with their work at the same time. You may have noticed that when you are angry at one person, you are hardly ever nice to someone else. This is a sign of holding on to anger. If you feel that its hard to practice loving kindness with the person who made you angry, then its okay to let things be and try being nice to someone else. When you are nice and kind to another being, somewhere at a deeper level you are releasing all that stored anger and resentment.
Our minds are really good at holding on to the annoying stuff and releasing the good things. That one special person comes up each day with a new judgement creating more of the annoying stuff we are trying to release. Are they justified in treating you this way? NO. Nobody has the right to hurt someone by their words. Nobody deserves the benefit of doubt in these cases. Are you justified in saying mean things to them because they hurt you? NO. “But why? They always say mean things to me? Shouldnt I stand up for myself?” Standing up for yourself does not give you the right to hurt others. If someone tells you,” You are not doing it right,” stop, breathe and say, “Thank you.” Thats the best way to do it. Thats how a light worker does it.
If my dad says to me,” You are a careless person with a weak mind” and I reply by saying,”And who gave you the right to judge me?” I am only hurting him, neglecting the concern he has for me, ruining our relationship and above all, this statement of mine does not make me feel any better. But if I take a nice, deep letting go breath and say, “Thank you so much for your honest opinion,” I am complimenting them yet not believing them. They might feel that I am being sarcastic, but my mind registers this as a win-win situation where I am encouraging them to be kind.
I was inspired to write this post after listening to Matt Kahn who says that when someone insults you, they are appealing to the angel within you to liberate them of their pain and you can do that by blessing them or complimenting them, whichever is suitable for you.