All of us love watching those beautiful disney fairytale movies where we see a damsel in distress like Cindrella or Snow white who is surrounded by all sorts of drama. As much as we love watching these dramatic stories, none of us will ever want to be surrounded by so much drama.
Whenever in life you are surrounded by drama, stop and breathe. This drama is trying to convey some thing, its here to help you. Now that does not mean that you have entered a beautiful fairytale or you are stuck in the worst case scenario. This drama is trying to tell you that something is definitely not correct. Drama is the surest red flag that something needs to be thought about and rectified.
A couple of months ago, I was not only surrounded but also lost in drama. Every single day began with mini drama in the form of arguments and ended with huge drama in the form of financial losses, workplace disagreements and so on. I was unable to figure out what was going wrong. Why was I suffering so much? That day I didnt know. Today, I do. I was a part of a miserable friendship where I was the overgiver being emotionally drained the whole time. I was trying to aim for something I had lost all interest in, I was trying to do so much and ended up having not even the least time for self care and above all I thought I was doing it right when in reality, I was doing it all wrong.
Drama means that something needs to change. Most often when we are surrounded by drama we go on creating even more drama. For instance, if we are suffering from the pain of feeling unloved we start overgiving hoping to get some love from the other person. If we are struggling with work related stress, instead of practising loving kindness we initiate arguments with our co-workers. When we are dealing with the grief of not accomplishing our goals we start comparing ourselves with our batchmates and co-workers. Drama leads to more drama and this loop of negativity creates more and more trouble.
Drama does not mean that your life is adventorous or romantic or brilliant. Drama means that in some way or the other most of our suffering is self induced. Sincerity is a great property which helps to release drama. Being sincere does not mean being overloaded with work the whole time. It simply means that you are being honest with yourself and you say no when its required and necessary. Saying NO is a part of being sincere.
Just imagine how wonderful it is when you go through life just doing it all simply and lovingly. No unwanted gossips, no pathetic sob stories and above all, no stress of pleasing everyone around you.
“Stay away from drama.” This is what parents advise their grown up kids. It does make complete sense to me now. Drama is the root cause of all suffering. It tricks you into believing that your actions are justified. Staying away from drama does not mean that you do not stand up for yourself.
Standing up for yourself has got absolutely nothing to do with inviting more drama into your life. You can take a stand for your needs and yet stay away from drama at the same time. For instance lets talk about something very common like workplace related stress. Maybe you are being overloaded with work due to the carelessness of your co-workers or the lack of adequate staff. Maybe your seniors are too demanding and all this is taking a toll on your health and personal life. I was suffering from a similar scenario last year. In such situations you dont need to yell and shout and sob and cry or go about begging for off days from work. The rule is very simple. Stay away from drama. Thats all it takes to make your life better and smoother. I have now understood how to handle these things. I dont let the work suffer due to someone’s careless attitude. I take full responsibility of the task and complete it honestly. But at the same time I have learnt to say no to overdemanding seniors, I do not allow anyone to dump their workload on me and above all I am totally detached from how its going to turn out. I spend my day working with enthusiasm (Reminder- I dont really like my job at all), I keep my work neat and organised, I do it with a calm mind and the moment I feel that its too much for me to handle- I say NO, a big fat NO. Saying no doesnt mean initiating arguments with anyone. It simply means setting up strong boundaries. In my case, I do not stay back after my shift is over for any extra work, I do not assume responsibility for anyone else and I am what I am. I dont take to flattery and begging to stay out of trouble. Sincerity and loving kindness are my super powers.