“OFFERING SOMEONE YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE NEVER MEANS ACCEPTING THEIR UNLOVING BEHAVIOUR.”
These words by the renowned healer and feminine coach Syma Kharal are exactly what I needed to hear in regards to forgiveness. This is exactly what forgiveness is. You give them love and set yourself free. But at the same time remembering that whats not okay is not okay.
When it comes to our family members, forgiveness becomes easier when we see each other as souls originating from a common source. It removes all obligations on both sides. When I see my closed ones as souls just like me, I can easily share their suffering. Thats because I no longer feel that they are obliged to behave in a certain way or they are supposed to be nice to me. Its feels much better to see ourselves as wounded souls wanting to be healed.
The moment I see my family members as souls sharing a common origin instead of a common lineage, I am able to be in the awareness that we all have originated from a common source of light which some of us call God.
Being in this awareness, I never feel forced to accept their unloving behaviour as something I have to put up with. I offer them all the love I have and hold room in my heart for their suffering. Had I been thinking of them as my family, I would have tried to fix them but I never do that. I only hold place for their suffering, I dont try to fix it. I dont expect them to behave differently and I also hold room for their unloving behaviour. I dont find it right but I bless them and release it all.
Compassion works like magic. And when we see each other as soul members instead of family members, we are able to shed the burden of unwanted expectations. We give up the need to keep everyone happy. We realise that since we are of the same source, all separation is just an illusion. I cannot bring happiness to all if I am upset. It makes it easier for us to release all judgements and embrace kindness.
If I see my parents as troubled souls instead of angry adults, being kind towards them becomes easy, letting go of judgements becomes easy and sharing their pain becomes possible. Feelings like bitterness, anger and unhappiness get replaced by loving kindness.
So just try looking at each other as souls from a common source and dwell in this state of oneness.