Overgiving represents a lack of balance and compassion in relationships. If you feel that the efforts that you put into your relationship actually leave you feeling drained, then its a time to step back and think.
Overgiving represents a lack mentality. If you feel insecure about your relationship or you feel that your relationship needs a lot of effort, then thats because you feel a constant lack of love and contentment. Overgiving is never a good sign for a relationship. Maybe your partner is done with this relationship and wants to move on. But your practice of giving away too much of your time and energy is actually making them indecisive. Overgiving not only keeps you energetically and emotionally drained, it also keeps your partner forcefully tied to you even if they wish to move on.
If two people or a group of friends really love each other, they are going to make all possible efforts to stay together. They wont hesitate in giving up on jobs and changing apartments to be with you. You shall be their priority, not an option. And if they do struggle to take steps to be with you, then its always wise for you to let them make their own choices. Stop giving up on your way of life to meet their choices. It shall never make them happy.
I remember that my friends and I went through a similar phase in our lives. I focussed on working really hard so that we could stay together. I always wanted all three of us to be there for each other. I gave away all my time and energy only to realise that it wasnt meant to be. I felt like I was a thread holding us together, but my friends longed for freedom. My efforts only made them feel burdened and caged.
When you start overgiving in a relationship, you start expecting the same. And when your expectations arent met, you feel the pain of rejection all the time. Overgiving is never a sign of love. Its a sign of fear and dependency. Its a sign of lack of self-love.
My best friend once told me,” If you really love someone, let them go. Release them with love and bless them on their path. If you are meant to be together, the universe shall see to it and if not, you will learn to be happy and prosperous without them.” Thats a truly wonderful statement. Sometimes, its really hard to let go. But thats the best you can do for them.
Once when I was meditating on love, I had a really beautiful vision of a love story. The lady caught her love cheating on her. Instead of screaming and yelling or ignoring the incident, she went to him and hugged him. Then she said these beautiful words,” I know that you feel hurt too. You cannot feel good by such deeds. I am leaving you because I love you. You wont realise your faults if I stay back. You wont heal in my presence. I want the best for you. I want you to learn and heal. Goodbye.” Now, your partner may not be cheating on you. But maybe they feel really emotionally distant. Or maybe your friends just dont answer your phone calls most of the time. Dont just go on being with them without giving this a thought. Sometimes separation is necessary for healing to occur and by overgiving, you are actually disempowering them.