So often we find ourselves in the midst of loveless relationships. We wonder why our loved ones are behaving that way. Sometetimes its our best friend who appears indifferent to our pain, sometimes its our partner who is not pleased with our achievements or not interested in being with us and sometines its the closest members of our family whose behaviour truly upsets us. What is the matter? What has gone wrong?
The truth is that the door to one’s heart can open only from the inside. I really want you to understand this saying. It so happens that you are standing at the door of their heart with a basket of love in your hands and they shut the door on your face. Yes, thats what actually happens. Now, no matter how much you shout or knock at the door, the love you wish to give them cannot get in.
Now how do we identify if someone has shut his/her heart’s door for us? Here are some simple ways to find out-
THE BLAME GAME
These people start blaming you for all the problems in their life. They feel that you always create troubles for them. It maybe a friend who feels that because of you they could not score well in their assignment, it maybe a family member who blames your choices for financial troubles or it maybe your partner who blames you for all the relationship issues. It can be anyone. Imteracting with these people makes you feel guilty and doubtful about yourself. They fill you with a sense of low self esteem and self-loathing. This blame game represents their lack of compassion and inability to forgive.
These people have a hard time believing in you. They feel that you cannot handle situations and they always need a second opinion before trusting you. For instance, your friend may feel that the doctor you suggested to her may not be good enough or your partner is doubtful of your suggestions. I am not saying that taking a second opinion is always a sign of trust issues. But when your person of interest always needs another opinion to supplement yours, it does feel annoying and frustrating.
In reality, there is no such thing as conditional love because love is always unconditional. What I am talking about here is attachment. There are people who feel proud of you when you accomplish something, there are people who applaud you for your smartness and then there are people who salute your bravery. This is attachment, not love. You are not your accomplishments and neither are you what you do. If someone feels proud of you even when you are broke, if they applaud you for even your mistakes and they believe in you no matter what, only then shall we call it love. Because thats who the real you is.
Now that we know whats happening, the next thing that starts bothering us is that what are we supposed to do. Thats entirely upto you. But I will just advice you to send them love, keep them in your prayers ,have compassion for them, forgive them, bless them and set yourself free. Standing at the closed door waiting for it to open wont do anyone any good. Never settle for anything less than love because all thats not based on love is bound to be destroyed.