Mean comments, harsh judgements and rude critical remarks hurt all of us. It stings like a scorpion bite and our heart feels so much pain that our tears just cant stop flowing. And just as the pain of a scorpion bite is numbed by using a local anesthetic, we start numbing out our own pain by distractions and passing judgements on others.
“THEY ALWAYS TALK LIKE THAT.” “WHO ARE THEY TO SHOUT AT ME?”
The pain we feel is never healed and those harsh remarks are still there reminding us of those unpleasant experiences time and again.
WHAT IF ITS SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU
These harsh remarks can come from a family member, your spouse, your friends, co-workers, your boss and even your clients. These are people with whom you have to deal with on a daily basis. Having arguments the whole time or just tolerating this sh*t is no way to live.
There are situations in which you simply cant move away from them. You cant leave that job or you cant leave home. It feels so annoying to listen to these remarks every single day in your life.
STOP LEANING ON THEM
One of the major reasons that these comments hurt us is that we are leaning on these people for emotional support. Yes, we do. We lean on our family and friends for love and thats when the problem begins.
Stop leaning on those who are not full of love and light. Stop leaning on your parents for support if all they do is make you feel guilty, stop leaning on your friends who treat you like trash and stop leaning on distractions and attractions.
THEY ARE JUST BROKEN INSTRUMENTS TRYING TO PRODUCE THEIR BEST POSSIBLE MUSIC
Yes, these people are heart broken and ill at ease the whole time. They are troubled souls looking for simple ways to be happy. Their trouble is that they are looking for happiness outside of themselves.
As they are not seeking their inner happiness, their connection to love is broken and the music they produce is nothing but bitter remarks.
YOU KNOW IT ISNT TRUE, BUT STILL IT HURTS
You are well aware of the fact that their opinions do not define you, but you just cant help feeling hurt and angry. You feel this way everyday and eventually you start building up walls around your heart. You dont want any negative stuff to enter. You try desperately to block it all out. But the hurt and pain still persists. Sadly, all the joy is blocked out.
LEAN ON KINDNESS
Stop being too hard on yourself. I know it hurts and everyday and in every way there are people who are adding to your misery. But this doesnt mean that you start doing the same thing to yourself. Guilt, low self esteem, shame and lack of self worth are the signs of the absence of self compassion.
COMPASSION IS YOUR MAGIC WAND. Be super kind, loving and gentle towards yourself. You are your own lucky charm and you are your own best friend. Stop cursing your life and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Do a little of what makes you happy. Go read your favourite book, have that nice cup of hot chocolate, listen to your favourite music, give yourself a warm loving hug and pray regularly.
FIND THE ONE WHO MAKES YOUR HEART SMILE
It can be anything, your favourite book, listening to spiritual coaches and healers, talking to your beloved friends and counsellors or your conversations with the divine.
STOP TRYING TO FIX THIS
Let the situations be in the hands of God rather than you trying to fix them. Surrender to the divine and embrace all this bitterness as the divine will. Every bitter word creates enormous amount of pain and suffering. Feel it fully. Dont run from it and stop trying to avoid it. Face it, embrace it, cry it out, weep it out and just be in that state of grieving. You dont need to get done with things quickly.
I too hear harsh comments each day of my life. They are bitter and its hard to deal with them. I have been hearing them all my life. I grew up feeling that I did something wrong and thats why they said that or its okay for people to shout at you when they are angry. Now I realise that nasty comments or scoldings are not what you deserve or what you create. These are the result of people trying to fix others. Your parents try to fix you when you do something wrong or you try to fix your kids by making them realise their mistakes.
But anger can never fix things. It creates waves of separation and deep cracks in relationships. Stop trying to fix others and start loving yourself.
DETACHMENT AND LOVE
First you learn to bring in compassion to all areas of your life. You be there in that moment of suffering allowing yourself to feel all the pain and anger. It might take some time but you make the choice for love.
You forgive them, not because what they said or did was right but because you no longer wish to remain attached to this pain. You give them love, you send them healing wishes, you forgive them for yourself.
“I FORGIVE YOU FOR HURTING ME BECAUSE I AM WILLING TO LET GO OF THIS BITTERNESS. ITS HARMING ME. I AM WILLING TO EMBRACE THE LIGHT. I BLESS YOU AND RELEASE YOU TO THE LIGHT. MAY WE ALL RETURN TO LOVE.”