AM I THE ONLY ONE ?
Well, do you feel that everyone around you is in a blissful relationship and you are the only one sitting alone on weekends and other days? Do you feel like you are the only unfortunate one living a loveless life? If you do not feel so, its really beautiful because you are never defined by your relationship or wedding status.
But my dear, if you do feel so, then dont worry because this post will put a little delight on your grumpy face. To begin with, let me tell you that you are not the only one going through all this. Yes, my dear we all are in this together. You are not alone and never ever forget this.
ARE YOU BEING RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH?
When someone walks into our life and we fall in love with them, its actually us being in awareness of the deep seated love within us. So basically, the magic lies in the love within you. And you and only you are responsible for allowing it to flow with ease and grace.
Are you continuously pitying yourself or has one heart-break caused you to build walls around your heart? Are you being envious of others or are you just numbing out your emotions?
All these actions are blocking the flow of your own love. These are the blocks in your path of love and you really need to get out of your own way.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU
Get this straight. You dont need to make any extra efforts for it. What I mean is that if you love staying at home on weekends, you dont have to forcefully start attending parties and night outs. If you love long peaceful walks, you dont need to force yourself to join clubs and classes. If you are not a sports person then be proud and there is no need to do anything that doesnt feel like you.
NO ONE CAN BE YOU BETTER THAN YOU. Yes, its true. Being single doesnt mean that there is anything wrong with you. Yes, you may be suffering from some self esteem issues due to this but remember you are gorgeous and worthy of all that you truly wish for.
PAUSE AND THINK
It often happens that you are completely influenced by the romance novels you read and the cheesy love stories you watch. But hold on my dear. Love is not that shallow. You see these books or movies glorify only and only one aspect of love and that is romantic love. Thats not how it is.
Love is our own true nature. Its the deep inner knowing of our true self. And it encompasses everything ranging from jobs to friendships to parenthood and so on.
So, if you are in a loveless job and feel that meeting the right partner will make you feel better, thats never going to happen. If you dont love your job, work on that first instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you.
ITS NOT OKAY
You see that very often in a relationship there are so many things that you are not okay with. For instance, you may not be okay with his/her friends coming over at your place or you may not be okay with his/her constant remarks about your dressing style or you may not be okay with their temper tantrums. Whatever it is, whats not okay is not okay.
Now that doesnt necessarily mean that they need to change or you need to move on. Begin with self compassion. Be kind and loving towards yourself caring for your wishes and needs. Now in the light of this self love, you will slowly start seeing the wounds of your partner. Hold space for their suffering without trying to fix them. If they are broken, they need to be healed and not fixed. Let love decide the fate of your relationship.
I CANNOT TRUST THEM
Trust is a really powerful word. It is one of the most important principles of a loving and successful relationship. Are you afraid of trusting new people? Does this word make you feel uncomfortable?
Trust issues can be based on bitter past experiences and your own judgements. There are loyalty issues as well. To be very honest, in the society where I dwell if your partner/husband is cheating on you, then it isnt considered a valid reason for a break up. Sometimes that makes me feel that I will have to put up with this and that prevents me from trusting the men I meet. What the society stuffs into our head, really makes it difficult for us to trust anyone.
Firstly, we all need to understand that without trust, you cannot experience the bliss of soulmate love. This trust is a really sensitive issue and must be explored fully.
If you are afraid of trusting new people, then start by believing in yourself. Start by working on your own unhealed perceptions about the world. Witness your fear based perceptions and release them with love and compassion.
WHAT YOU SEE NOW IS NOT ALL THERE IS
Just because the stars appear to you as tiny dots, it doesnt mean that they are small. They are huge celestial beings shining bright up there. So if you see a little glitter in someone’s smile or a little glow in someone’s blush or a little sparkle in someone’s eyes, then there may be big bright stars of love and romance shining for you in those moments.
SHOW UP FOR THE GLORIES
Showing up can be as simple as answering a phone call or not running away from a conversation that has something more to it. It can be as quick as smiling at someone’s complement or writing a little love note. Show up for the love that is already there. Dont worry, the universe has it all figured out.
DONT LET THEM DEFINE IT FOR YOU
There is always a first date, a first hug and a first kiss. Dont let anyone’s opinions spoil it for you. There is no perfect way and there is no imperfect way. Anything that feels good to you is perfect. Its never too late and you can make your choice as per your own wishes. If you want to be alone for now, its perfect. You are not missing out on anything. If you havent been with anyone before, there is no need to feel upset about it. You define and create your own love story. You are the narrator and you are the director. Dont let anyone else take that charge from you.
IT HARDLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE
Sometimes, you just dont want to end up with someone you dont know too well. So you are afraid of your parents picking the right person for you. You resist it and feel pretty upset about the fact that you dont yet have a partner to lean on.
Relax, my dear. Lean on love and show up for it. Dont rush into anything but just show up for any meeting or date or conversation thats coming your way. Just show up and release the rest. But if you still feel that you really dont feel ready for it or you need to be left alone, thats great too. Take your time, release, relax and prepare yourself to receive the wonderful gifts of the universe.