LISTENING TO THEM
Our parents have their own opinions and knowlegde. They have had their bittersweet life experiences and while these experiences still await us, listening to their stories or guidance is all right. Yes, we may not agree with them. We all have our own way of living. But paying respect to their knowledge just by listening to them is okay.
DONT BE A SPONGE AND ABSORB IT ALL
Time and again, your parents will shower you with their own insights and life lessons. While some of these may be really helpful, some may just not feel right. Listening to them doesnt mean soaking it all up. You have the right to decide what resonates with you and what doesnt. Do this very wisely. Dont become overloaded with all sorts of lessons and advice.
THE WAY THEY LIVE
Now this is a really important trait you must notice in your parents. How do they live their life? Do they base their decisions on the fear of society? Do they value other’s opinions more than their own happiness? Or do they care very less about such things? How do they deal with criticism? Do they take it and learn from it or do they never allow any guidance to come in?
Making these observations and that too without any judgement helps you in being aware of how they think, their beliefs and if you can rely on their advice in a particular matter.
WITNESS YOUR OWN JUDGEMENTS
Mostly the judgements we have placed on our parents cause us to become biased and often ignore their even helpful suggestions. Its extremely important to release all judgements from our relationships. Judgements are toxic and must be released for us to see the light in all. Be willing to see them in light and for the first time.
THE WAY THEY BEHAVE
Its not that our parents are deliberately behaving the way they do. They just dont know how to be any other way. They are constantly trying to be the best version of themselves. Yes, their behaviour might irk you at times, but then wanting them to change is not the way out. Accept them for who they are and let go of the need for them to be someone else.
LOVE vs ATTACHMENT
When we are attached to our friends or family members, we constantly feel the need to control them. That is what happens mostly between kids and their parents. Both of us are trying to control the other. We are continuously caught in this web of controlling behaviour which masquerades as love and concern.
Love is liberation in itself. Love does not tell you to have the intention of getting and wanting. When you are willing to serve, thats when you truly experience love.
HEALING WITH COMPASSION
If you feel upset by the constant judgements and criticism that your parents place upon you, then you need to understand that their behaviour reflects their own inner child feeling unloved and lonely. Their lack of self love disconnects them from the divine guidance and thid leads them to try to force their decisions upon you.
Bring kindness to all such situations. Cultivate compassion for them and share their suffering.Try to understand that they are going through their own emotional turbulence. Send them love and prayers of healing. If you dont have any words of kindness to say to them, then simply pray for them to embrace light.